Waking Up to Flowers (Part 3 of 3)

As if my life couldn’t get any more complicated. Paul was due to drive down from Ohio on Saturday with his daughter Samantha (who was actually dating my son, Brendan.) I get a call from Brendan on Tuesday.

“Hey, dad, mom, ah Kendra, I have a little bit of a problem.” He said with a bit of trepidation in his voice.

“What’s up buddy?” I asked.

“I met someone at work and we are kind of dating. Her name is Tiffany, wait until you meet her, I think you all will get along.”

“Well, ah, wait, what? What about Samantha, I thought you were in Luuuuv?” I drew out the word love because frankly he deserved a little teasing.

“Well, I like Samantha, I do, but, well, she lives so far away.” He responded

“And she wants to wait until she’s married.” I interrupted

“No, it’s not like that, really, it’s just, like I said we just live too far apart.”

It began to sink in now, if Paul was still planning a trip to see me, it probably wouldn’t be with his daughter. I guess I was right about it could get complicated with two family members dating a father/daughter combo. “Great, does Samantha know?”

“Yeah, we talked last night.”

“So you didn’t like Samantha as much as you thought, huh?” I asked him, still a little frustrated.

“Actually I did, I hate this but there is just too many miles between us, I wish it didn’t have to be this way but at least I figured it out before it went any further.”

Ok, so he was an ass but at least I raised a mature, responsible ass. And if I were responsible and mature I would call Paul and tell him the same thing or at the very least ask him how his daughter was holding up.

Yeah, nope; I was just two months into hormones and starting to cry at the drop of a hat, no way I could be that mature. Instead I decided to wait for Paul to call me.

And call he did, the day before he was supposed to make the trip, I had already put that whole crazy relationship behind me, I figured without Brendan and Samantha there would be no Paul and me…but it appeared Paul saw things differently.

Our Saturday date was still on as scheduled, except this time it was all about us. We had a nice little lunch downtown, walked around and looked in the cute little shops on 14th street all the while talking about the weather and some trip Paul had planned and then we met up with Miranda and Kimberly at “Board and Brew” for a board game and a few drinks.

We didn’t talk about us much but you can rest assured I thought about us…a lot. I found myself getting angry over our situation, as in how Kim and Miranda was sure we would never be able to have a “romantic” relationship because I was straight and even though Paul was a man, he had not had the surgery at that point.

I was also frustrated at myself for thinking the same thing Brendan was thinking, this much distance between us would make a real relationship impossible and by the time our night was over I had promised myself Paul and I would be intimate.

I see my mistake now; it wasn’t because I was in love or because he meant the world to me. Yes I thought he was a great guy, yes I could see us being a couple but the truth of the matter was, I wanted to be intimate with him because I believed the rest of the world thought it was impossible.

It was me this time that put my arms around Paul and kissed him. “You are so hot.” I whispered in his ear.

Paul’s eyes said what my heart said, it was wrong on so many different levels and I making this attempt for all the wrong reasons.

“Do you want to come back to my hotel room?” Paul asked.

And like I read Paul’s eyes, he read mine. “I’m sorry.” I answered and then hugged him, burying my head in his shoulder and cried. I started to think I was too fucked up for any of this; maybe I was destined to be alone both romantically and without friends.

Paul drove me home while Kim and Miranda went jumped to another Bar. I was kind of glad that the house was going to be empty when I got there, I didn’t feel like talking and I definitely didn’t feel like crying anymore.

He gave me a kiss at the door, “Night sweetheart.” He said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

“Of course sweetie, maybe a museum or something.”

As friends we were good together but, not as a couple, we were friends that took it too far. The funny thing is although our words said one thing, we both knew in an instant that would be the last time we ever talked to each other.

#Paul #Samantha #Miranda #Brendan #Relationships #Kimberly #Depression