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Okay, so my life-long friend thinks says he is not a good person, he is an ass, okay, let me try and come to terms with this.
That would mean that someone that has stood by me for over 35 years, never wavered in his friendship or his support, treated me with more respect, more love than some of my own family members is an ass or a bad person. Got it, I guess buy that logic a serial killer would be what, a saint?
Tony here is what I see INSIDE of you; when I first met you it was obvious you were dealt a bad hand. I watched as your family members disregarded you, I watched as authorities sometimes and undeservingly disrespected you but you kept going. Sure once in a while you weren’t smiling, and there were a few times that you were downright angry but you never turned your disappointment with life on someone else, ever.
I think being able to see inside you is directly linked to the life we have spent together. And guess what, you did not chose me, I did not chose you, we chose each other.
You said you latched yourself onto me because of all the women that were in and out of my life and yet those women turned out to be an illusion or a mask I wore for the rest of the world and if you had the opportunity to ask one of those so-called conquests about me as a partner, they would have laughed.
Tony, you didn’t latch on to me for that, I latched onto you. From the moment I met you I knew that you had something that I lacked, you had a will that was unshakable.
Back then, I would have done anything for you; and of all my friends back in my so-called glory days, you were the only one that would have utterly crushed me if I had lost. I remember thinking, I would wither away and die if you were no longer around. Anytime I have ever needed something, you were there and you NEVER asked for anything in return. DO YOU THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE THAT ASSHOLE?
And I feared losing you so much that I never told you who I really was, if anyone is the dick, it is me (ironic isn’t it)
Even when I made mistakes in our friendship, you never held it against me. I left you in a foreign world, I was not there for you when you needed me the most; I know my sins Tony and I would do anything I could change that, undo what I have done.
See here is the thing, not only did you overlook my many faults, my many crimes against you, your friendship with me only grew stronger. You know you saved my life right? Don’t fucking roll your eyes at me and dismiss this, Tony you saved me!
When you found out your childhood, womanizing ladies’ man of a friend was in fact a transgender woman, you did not hesitate to treat me as any woman, and any teenage girl would want to be treated. You opened doors for me, you pulled out my seat at restaurants and you spoke with my wife about allowing me to go on hormones.
If not for that conversation with Kimberly, almost two years ago, you would have lost your best friend.
And do you really think anyone would believe you when you proudly proclaimed that you "would not come to my rescue if someone tried to hurt me physically?" You aren’t fooling anyone there buddy.
These are the reasons I love you and yes die for you.
Yea, it is all fun in games when I flirt with you; you know I am just playing around with you, you know I wouldn’t really try to seduce a friend that I have known most of my life right? Ha, got you fooled. Tony, the thing is, that damn, strong-willed, charming smile of yours paired with my lifetime affection for you has wrapped me up in a tiny package with a bow on top for you to do with what you may.
Yea, yea, I know it ain’t going to change anything, it isn’t supposed to; I merely said it to let you know how deeply I care about you. I said it because I understand the debt I owe to you and your friendship; I said it because I love you.
Because I would do anything for you.
Because you are my friend.
Merry Christmas Tony
Signed a girl that finally understands
Kendra Chelsea
