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Thank you, well for the most part anyway.
I remember when I began to transition in June of 2015 when I told my wife…”but I will never come out at work. I retire in six years, I think I can make it that long.” And then in November 2015 when I told my therapist that I will never, absolutely, positively EVER come out at work.
You might wonder why I made those declarations and was so adamant about staying in the closet at work so…It was not for fear of being harassed by other departments, it wasn’t for fear of being mistreated by my superiors and it was not about me believing I might lose my job, no, no and no.
I have been working, and for the most part, alone with one particular individual for over twenty years and for most of that twenty years, this man and I had become somewhat casual friends. But on par with the course, Ken used to be a liar and a fraud.
When the topic of LGBT issues began to arise, Ken would join right in with the bashing and the homophobic slurs. Still I believed I was just soaking up my surrounding viewpoints. Mack was, well, very anti-gay and when Caitlyn Jenner came out, an even worse at understanding the T in the LGBT.
It was Mack that made me decide no matter the cost to my sanity, I would NOT come out at work.
If you follow my blog at all then you know, I was doomed to fail at staying in my safe and secure closet. I continued to push the boundaries between make and female until one day Mack grumbled, “I know you are a girl and it is okay.”
From that day forward there was no more secrets from anyone, Kendra would forever more be honest and truthful.
Yea, there are some assholes at work that think they can be tough boys and call me by my dead name or incorrect pronouns but one by one I have been taking care of them. If you do happen to be reading this and you are one of my many coworkers, trust me on this…continue doing what you are doing and you will find out that I will embarrass you far more than you have ever embarrass me, BETTY.
If that doesn’t sway you let me say this, this is Maryland and not North Carolina; there will be a time you are sitting in human resources wondering how and why you pissed it away just because your Neanderthal as can’t figure out how to deal with me.
Anyway back to the only one that kept me from coming out at work, my coworker Mack.
Mack didn’t hate me, Mack didn’t harass me, make fun of me, instead he said, “you are my friend Kendra, what did you think I would do?” He asked.
“Yea, what would you do indeed?” I thought, but just let it go, I was happy now, why would I push the issue.
And then one day I was talking to Mack and he was holding his own in a conversation about being a transgender person. Mack seemed pretty knowledgeable for someone that had never personally known someone that is transgender and then he followed it up with, “I read an article about it and I have it bookmarked if you are interested.”
It was at that very moment that I realized that he was as far away from being a casual friend as one could be, Mack was a true friend.
When someone came into the office Mack always made it a point to call me by my name, I knew then that he was one of my biggest supporters.
And then he said one of the most touching things someone could say to another human being. “Kendra, you changed my whole outlook on life; you changed me completely, you made me see things differently.”
Well Mack, it is a two way street; you changed my outlook on people and the world and I am and will always be indebted to you, you are a true friend.
Signed a very grateful friend
Kendra Chelsea
