Making Kendra (Part 5 of 7)

With all my documents changed to my new name and gender, I was practically begging places to ask for ID. As soon as I got to work after getting my driver’s license I just had to show it off to the few people that knew I was transgender.

“This reminds me…” My direct supervisor said. “I had to tell my assistant that you were transgender, she was going to be doing payroll this week so she was going to see your new name.”

The same assistant that was sitting in the office next to hers, the same one that was looking over at me with a Cheshire like grin. “Okay, I totally understand.” I responded but I resisted the urge to tell her I had already decided Kenneth was done and sometime soon, Kendra would be the only thing left. The only thing I knew that it would not be that day so I just let it go.

It was a long, long week. I had finally made plans to meet up with Marcie on the weekend and whenever something exciting is about to take place the work-week seems to drag on forever. Ugh…

Eventually, however, somehow Sunday arrived and I was off to Old Town Virginia to meet up with Marcie. We had planned a simple night on the town. First dinner and then a little shopping.

Who would have thought that our conversation would pick up right where we left it? “How was your week sweetie?” I asked her.

“Fine, fine, I told human resources about being transgender.” She replied.

“How’d that go?”

“Well it went fine; we picked a date when I get to become Marcie at work- yeah…”

“I swore I would never come out at work and I meant it but… It is too much. I cannot continue being two different people, I hate it.” I growled. “I already started wearing some girl things, I mean look at my hair, ha…I mean what man would dye his hair this color.”

Let me say, I am not going to ramble on about everything we talked about; I know, even though it was the most interesting conversation I have ever had, it is not something that would translate well to “Joe or Jane” public. Just take it I was totally enamored with her.

And we went shopping as planned, and that was actually the start of an addiction that I am still battling. Oh yes, an addiction plan and simple. One so bad that I ended up buying a large wardrobe/closet, filling it and still buying… Doesn’t matter, shirts, shoes, jewelry, dresses, it is never ending.

Sadly like all good weekends, they eventually end; even though I hated the thought about going home, it was a start. “Would you like to stop by my place and see my new apartment?” She asked before we started going our separate ways.

(Do I really need to type out how I responded?)

Let me be clear here, I am and always have been on my best behavior when going to someone’s house for the first time. I try to be proper, I am sure that’s the way most of us were brought up but, there was something about this woman that made me relaxed, like we understood each other already.

I sat down on her couch and she laid her head on my shoulder and truthfully, I had not felt like that in years and once again we picked up talking about our lives and our individual struggles. Our conversation even turned to a more personal nature, as in our sexual identities.

I think this is the perfect place to stop and reinforce that being transgender is not, I repeat NOT a sexual identity. As a transgender woman or man you can be straight or gay, pansexual and even asexual. Like all human beings we come in all shapes, sizes and identities.

Once again, to be totally open and forthright, I have to say telling Marcie that I was straight (you know, I like men) was one of the most difficult truths that I had ever had to confess. Yes even more than outing myself to my wife and kids. It was difficult because Marcie was beautiful and sweet and already at that point where she meant a lot to me. Even so, I had made a vow to myself that once my big secret was out, I would never lie to anyone again.

And once the night was over we hugged and kissed and I felt warm and safe. Damn me for being straight; knowing how I feel, knowing my core attraction, even discussing it briefly only opens people up to being hurt and that was the very last thing I wanted.

Before actually got in the car to head home I mentioned a conversation that Kimberly and I had the day before. “Once I get all my credit cards back, I want to have a funeral for Kenneth. Maybe even burn my old birth certificate.”

“No, absolutely not, that’s way too morbid, way too grim. I mean if you want to have a birthday party for Kendra, then fine, but no funerals.” And then I asked Marcie if she would like to come to Kendra’s first birthday party. “One year living as a woman.”

“Of course, just let me know when and I will be there, promise.” She replied.

I smiled and gave her another kiss before getting into my car. “What an awesome weekend…What an awesome life I have.”

#Marcie #Relationships #friends #Kimberly