Review: Internet Transgender Dating

I really don’t want to start off by saying internet dating is less fun than banging your head against the wall but well, you won’t know that until you try it for yourself. (Especially precise if your transgender)

Let me preface my review by saying that everyone is different, especially when taking into consideration their needs and desires so my experiences will not equate to other people’s experiences. So with that said let me first explain who I am and what my needs are.

Before I get a ton of emails saying, “hey, needs are a two way street” let me first say, yea, I know this. I am just touching on my basic and bottom line of what I need. Yes, I am a transgender girl but before that I am a girl, plain and simple.

I am not a gay man in a dress; I got here, to this point in my life for a reason. In my mind I am female and I am doing everything in my power to standardize my body and my mind. Another words, I have hated my anatomy since I realized I was not put together correctly.

Hated- I don’t mean disliked, I don’t mean not sure of, not fond of, I mean hated. So yea, my bottom line is I do like it seen, touched, fondled or admired. Period… Kind of like a straight man’s bottom line would be, you know, no guys.

Look there are all kinds of people out there, straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, no one group or person is better than the other so yes, my bottom line may be different than another transgender person you meet. It is for that reason I have always said declared my bottom line in every single profile I have ever created.

The problem is, men rarely read profiles.

How do I know this?

Example: In my first ever profile for a dating site I said- in capital letters… TRANSGENDER GIRL FOR LOCAL MEN ONLY.

I thought it was pretty dang clear

However if I were to hazard a guess, 90 percent of ALL messages I received started off not even knowing that I was transgender and it stopped NO ONE from other states from contacting me.

While on the topic of local guys only…what makes some men think transgender girls are so lonely that they will do anything just to get a date and even more pathetic try and con a transgender girl? Kind of pathetic and it makes them look like idiots.

Anyway, it did not take long for me to realize the sad fact that men usually only look at your pictures. However, in the beginning it was a challenge. I assumed that guys had at least glanced over my information and because of that we could exchange up to a dozen emails before I realized they had no idea that I was a trans girl.

What a total waste of time.

So I caught on and I would attempt to mention it during the first message exchange and then kick myself if and when I forgot.

Yes that was the first challenge.

Look, I love men, I do not care what the race or background of the person is, if you are funny, cute and intelligent, I am willing to talk to you. Still I did notice something about the different races/backgrounds of people that have contacted me and just for kicks let me just throw that out there.

#...DISCLAIMER…# OF COURSE THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE, THIS IS JUST USED FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND STATISTICAL ANALYSIS

Hispanic- By a slight margin I get more messages from them than any other. God bless them too because they are by far the most understanding and accepting. From what I can tell, they are far more likely to treat me like I feel and show me off to their friends than any other group of people.

Black- Second biggest group of people to contact and when I get a message from someone, I have noticed that they are, well, more than ready, willing and able but there is a downside, they are mostly looking for friends with benefits and when I say that I mean sex without getting to know you, sex without taking you on a date, heck in some situations it wouldn’t even matter if you even talked. Oh and more than likely, there will be an unspoken rule (see rule for “on the down-low”)

Caucasian-They will be either gay, bisexual or guys in denial. If you don’t know what denial is well, they are men that believe that if I look like a girl it would not be gay if they did gay things to me. And god love them all but, in all those situations I have found, it conflicts with my bottom line.

In my life I have dated all three of the above categories and have very much enjoyed them all equally but to get to that place there can be quite a few obstacles to overcome.

Now onto the long-drawn out messages I might routinely get.

1. “Hi.” Wow, lovely, that says it all. Heck I am ready to meet up with you maybe get a room. (See Sarcasm) Look I am the girl, guess what my response will be? Yep, you guessed it, “hi” usually followed up with “WYD?” God I am getting tired of thinking how many messages will have to be exchanged before we know one single thing about each other.

2. “What’s your number?” Hmm, I cannot imagine how many unknown men would have my number if I gave it out even before I gave them my name. Now this is the type of introductory message that absolutely pisses me off more than anything else.

3. “Do you have a penis?” Okay this is an easy one, especially if it is coming from a Caucasian man (see above) I have found the easiest way to end this conversation is to say, yes, a non-working one

4. “Can I get with you? You can come to my place and chill.” Okay so that usually comes in 2 back to back messages but you get the point. I have to ask, does that ever work? And if it does, what are the odds the girl comes back home completely unscathed? And if they do, do they come back home with their dignity still intact.

5. “This is Scott from 1300 miles away, when I saw your picture I thought you had the eyes of a goddess, I fell for you the moment I saw that beautiful smile. My dreams will be answered if you would just let me get to know you.” Let me translate for those that might not understand the language of con; what he actually said was, “I am from another country, I have not read your profile or even looked at your pictures in addition I have no intentions of ever meeting you, I am just pasting this message in tons of emails in attempt to get someone that will fall for my con. I was actually getting tired of sending the message about being a rich heir needing to get my fortune out of my home country and decided to try this one out for a while.” This is the funny one, has this ever worked? Even for a second?

6. “Hi my name is Bill, I live nearby and I think you are very pretty. I noticed that you are transgender and I understand the problems that you must have to go through and I would love to meet over coffee and then if you are willing, let me take you for a night out on the town.” Okay so that’s just a pipe-dream but anything close is someone I would HAVE to take seriously. Those messages come from real people, they are uplifting.

Did I miss any?

So yes, online dating can happen for transgender girls but…

Going out dancing or grabbing a couple of drinks with friends, I have found, is a much easier way to meet people. At last count I have met 5 times as many people at straight clubs and bars than I have online. Sure, for me at least, nothing has worked out but at least I have skipped a bunch of messages that just says “Hi” in the header.

#Review #Relationships