Armageddon (Part 1 of 2)

I feel like sometimes I have grown to despise the instant message notification on my phone. MOM: “Happy Birthday Kenny.”

And of course I didn’t answer, not right away anyway.

And then just a couple of days later, waking up to a non-responsive Keith.

And then finally answering my mom, “I don’t think we are ready to have my birthday dinner yet.”

And then realizing that I lost my estrogen.

And then getting an answer to my text from my mom, “You are right, I don’t think I can see you. I hate your CHOICES in life, it goes against everything I believe.”

And then getting another text from my brother saying, “I cannot deal with this situation either.”

Getting the point?

Still that wasn’t what caused me feeling as if my world had come to an end. “Could you drop me off at the metro early?” Keith asked as I was putting on makeup. “I have a lot of work to do.”

No kiss, no loving “good morning,” no nothing.

And as soon as we got in the car, I felt everything crumble. “I have to say, your mom is right, we are a sin, what we are doing is wrong.”

It wasn’t like I didn’t see this coming but, what I didn’t see was how angry that comment would make me. “Excuse me?” I said as I slowed the car and looked him directly in the eyes.

“You have to know we are a sin, against the bible.” He repeated.

I looked for a place to safely pull off to the shoulder of the road, “Get out.” I said in the calmest voice I could muster.

“Kendra, what I am saying…” He began before I interrupted him.

“Get out of my car.”

I am pretty sure I would not have reacted as I did if my mom and brother hadn’t been talking about what a sinner I was, if everything that had been happening, hadn’t happened in the precise order that it had occurred. Even so, I ordered him out of my car with no intentions to see him again.

I turned around and began to drive back home. Of course I didn’t get two blocks before I get a call from Keith. It wasn’t hard to reject the call.

When I got there I went straight to my room and cried… and cried and cried. To be honest, I am not sure if I cried over Keith, my mom or my brother or a combination of them. I was devastated, I felt my world changing.

When I finally decided that I had enough energy to drag my ass out of bed, I reached for my medicine only to discover my back up supply of estrogen was gone…just gone.

I began a frantic search of my room and the living room to no avail. That was the moment Kimberly stopped cooking dinner to try and find out why I was slamming things around. “What is wrong with you?” She asked.

“I lost the rest of my estrogen, nothing, I can’t do this…Can you think of anywhere I would have put it?” I responded.

“Oh geeze, what is the big deal, its fine, why are you bothering me, I am cooking dinner.”

That was the last straw, it was the straw that broke me, the moment my world crumbled. I am normally not the kind of person that would make idle threats but at the moment I had to speak my mind. “I am broken Kim, can’t you see that?”

I turned around and brushed by Tony, grabbed my keys off the key hook and left the house. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, what I was going to do but I do remember thinking that I should just start over somewhere far, far away.

By the time I drove to my nearby 7-11, I noticed Tony had been calling and unable to reach me. I had already gotten about 8 missed calls.

I grabbed a soda and paid for it at the same time I received a text notification, TONY: “Are you coming home? Are you okay?”

I got back in my car and cried again. When I finally caught my breath I texted him back. “Got a soda, on my way back.”

Even though I typed the words, I was not entirely sure they were truthful. Instead I just sat there for another twenty minutes trying to meditate before I in fact, returned home.

Before I got out of the car my phone rings again, this time it was Marcie. “Hi Kendra, how are you?”

“I am good Marcie.” I said, fully realizing that I sounded like that I had been crying. “Keith and I are done.” I continued, “but I am okay, really.”

“Talk to me.” Marcie responded.

“Can I call you back later? I think Tony is worried because I have been gone so long.” I said and then took a deep breath. “I promise, I am okay.”

As soon as I walked back in the house Tony was there to greet me. He put his arms around me and tightly squeezed.

“Kendra, you will never be alone. I promise you.” That simple action was enough to let me finally exhale.

“Thank you Tony.”

“Do you want to watch the Walking Dead?” Kim asked as soon as she noticed I had returned.

In such a short time I felt as if I was completely recovered and all it took was a few kind words from my friends. So I accepted the offer to watch TV but even so, my mind and hear was not entirely into the show. Instead I brought up my Facebook account and posted. “Keith and I are done, men are stupid.” and then road out the rest of television show, not really paying any attention.

Shortly after the show ended, Tony asked if I was okay; and because I thought I was, I responded, “of course, thanks to you.” Both Kim and Tony then, headed off to bed.

I spent the next fifteen watching videos from Twitter before I ran into a heartfelt, emotional cat video and just like that I collapsed; tears just started streaming out of my eyes and I used one hand to cover my mouth to keep from crying as I watched the cellphone in my other hand slip and fall to the floor and I balled like a baby.

And it was like my sadness had reached out across two states for help and at 12 AM I get a call l from someone that I had not heard from in ten months; I recognize her voice as soon as I hear her say, “What’s up bitch? This is Maxine.”

#Marcie #Jamie #Kimberly #Tony #Relationships #Maxine #Keith