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Yea, I was angry. Keith must have sensed I didn’t want anything to do with him and left me alone, well aside from a small text he sent me the next day. “I miss you.”
Like I was going to respond that, I couldn’t think of anyone that had aggravated me so much during sex. I mean my god I was about 2 minutes away from telling him I loved him.
Yes, that was my thought process and since I am on that train of thought, I will continue.
“Well at least he saved me from looking foolish; I mean, how would I have felt if I would have confessed my love and then hear him say, “I am thinking about going back to Boston in the spring.” I thought as I was driving to work. “I got to give him credit for being upfront about everything.”
So do you think I responded to his text? Pu-lease, I was pissed and I wanted him to know it. So I left his text to go unanswered Monday.
“Sure, Keith and I never did nail down the specifics of our relationship, it wasn’t like he cheated or lied to me.” I pondered as I laid down to sleep Monday night.
When I woke up the next morning I noticed that I had another text from him. “I need you baby, what are you doing this weekend?” He asked.
“And he is persistent but still no apology.” I thought as I put my phone away, drug myself out of bed and brushed my teeth.
Yes, I continued to ignore him until it was time for me to leave for work. And I absolutely had a plan of action. “Going to the renaissance festival Saturday, are you interested in coming?” I finally texted him back, thinking it would not be his thing and he would decline.
“Sure.” He responded minutes later.
“But I have a party to go to at the Mayors house, soooo….”
Even though I had thought it through, my plan was not so much of a plan. I had plans to let it go, ignore it, make it seem like I don’t care if he went back to Boston. (It wasn’t much of a stretch at that point.) Really, I didn’t have much to lose at that point.
And when Friday night came he called to let me know he was already at my house and he was out on the deck with Km and Tony. “All you have to do is come home to me baby.”
By that time I had put the past behind me and looking forward to a non-relationship with Keith. I reconciled my emotions by reasoning, “I can’t be angry if one, we keep it fun and two, I don’t care.”
I actually did get the chance to tell him how I felt. How, I was angry at first but now I was thankful to him for bringing me down to reality. Of course he did not react at that bit of news as I had expected, he seemed distant and removed; well until we went to bed, anyway.
The renaissance festival went great. I am always so grateful to mother Marcie for always having a plan. I had been going to this nerdy event since the time I had met Kimberly and at best we saw one or two shows but with my bestest friend and her plan we managed to see a half dozen.
Yes, the Cat Pack was together and having fun and we were all happy; well, that was how it felt anyway.
Keith felt a little distant. We had fell behind Marcie and Jamie as they made their way to the first show and he grumble a bit about them not waiting on us. And when we finally caught up to them, after I located them in the crowd I started to meet up with them.
“Go ahead, go with your friends.” He said as he stopped along a row of trees.
“Come on, there is plenty of room for all of us.” I responded with a sigh.
“Na, they didn’t want us around, you go, I am staying here.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, set the tone for the rest of the day. Still, I managed to quickly calculate my course of action. I actually figured that Keith and I were just “having fun.” And I had already warned him that nothing, no one, would come between me and Marcie but the show had already started so I would watch with Keith and join my friends after that first show.
And that is what I did, leaving Keith behind to pout, sulk or cry, not sure which and I didn’t care.
Still, knowing that I had the rest of the day with him and most probably the night, I need to maintain some sort of balance and I hope, in some way, I managed his quirky behavior. Even so, I was relieved to hear Kimberly and Tony were ready to leave because I knew Keith would want to leave early with them.
I would finally have Marcie and Jamie all to myself and get no more pressure from the sideshow circus.
We all had gotten up early and of course Keith and I had went to bed very late so I found myself exhausted and thinking about the rest of the night. “Here, home, party, return home and then Keith…ugh.”
But it didn’t matter, not in the slightest, I needed this time with my girls.
Our last show was the falcons; and I don’t remember a time I felt so happy to be anywhere. We weren’t laughing or playing, even dancing but, I felt like I belonged.
I grabbed Marcie’s hand after the show; she was warm on my now freezing body. “Are you ready to go?” She asked.
“Oh my god, I can hardly stand I am so exhausted, I am freezing and can’t stop shivering.” I thought before I actually spoke, “Whatever you all want to do, I am having the time of my life.” I responded and hand to god, I meant it.
I called ahead to let Keith know I was on the way home. “But I have to go to the party tonight so if you want you can take a nap and be ready for me when I get back.”
Sad, I would have brought him with me if we meant anything more to each other than having fun.
As tired as I was, I found myself glad I made the event. I met a couple of great people, Nora and James and I think we hit it off and because of that I ended up staying much longer than I had planned. As soon as I realized it was past 11 I asked Marcie and Jamie if they were ready to go.
Lucky for me they were or at least seemed as exhausted as I was. It was one of those rare times when they did not follow me into the house after they dropped me off.
And just like that, the mood was set for the rest of the night; the house reeked of well, medicinal marijuana, the house was dark and empty aside from Keith dancing in the middle of my living room. “Hey sweetie; are you having fun?” I asked not really expecting an answer.
“Yea, how was the party?” He responded.
“Good but I am wiped out, sorry about this but I need a nap, you can wake me up in an hour if you want.” I answered as kissed him and then headed off toward the bedroom.
Now, question for anyone that happened to stumbled onto this journal. Do you see any potential problems coming up between me and Keith?” Well if you do count yourself one step ahead of me in the game.
And fifteen minutes later Keith woke me up to show me a candle he lit for us. I am not sure how I remembered that since it really was just a foggy haze; and then he woke me up after another fifteen minutes to tell me about a snake he had fixed himself.
Truthfully, I don’t remember too much after that. I didn’t even notice when he finally came to bed but when I woke up the next morning and wrapped my arm around him I realized something was a little off, I didn’t feel like I did the last time we were together.
And even then I did not realize how close I was to flashpoint; but we wouldn’t be too far into that lazy Sunday morning before I realized it was the end of my world.
